2013-10-30 / Religion

Pushin' Up Daisies

‘New Reality’
By Tracy Renee Lee

Often times, when you experience the loss of a significant loved one, you feel as though you are dreaming, and that you might suddenly wake up to find that all is well. This past week, I have had two clients tell me that the passing of their loved one did not feel real to them. They were both surprised when I told them, that what they were experiencing was normal.

When you experience such a devastating loss, your body will react in such a way, that you may feel as though you are dreaming. Perhaps you feel as though the life you are living is not your own. This reaction is a safety mechanism that protects your psychological and physical well-being. If our bodies did not do this for us, the pain of such a significant loss would be too much to bear, and we might possibly perish ourselves.

The numbing of our senses allows us to get through the immediate pain of our loss, without a complete void in our functionality. It is incumbent on us to make important decisions at this time, and we would not be able to do so, if the pain were not somehow masked. The realization of your loss will manifest itself soon enough, and your loss and loneliness may significantly hamper your functionality for quite some time. Realizing that all of this is very normal may help you to accept the loss and focus on recovery.

Recovery from a loved one’s loss is difficult and may be lengthy. Take the time to appreciate your loved one and the joy and enrichment they brought into your life while they were living. Grief can be difficult to overcome, and it never completely goes away. Grief is the price we pay for love. You will never stop loving your loved one, so you will never stop grieving. With time, however, life will get easier and return to some level of normality.

It is important to remember that you still have others in your life that need and deserve your love. Love brings joy back into our lives. Embrace the love you have for those around you and allow them to help you overcome the pain you are experiencing. Although you will continue to grieve your loss, loving others will help your recovery.

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a funeral director, author, and freelance writer. It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.

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